a letter to my 25-year-old-self

Dear 25-year-old Anthony,

Happy Birthday!

It is hard to project myself into the future to write to you. But in a weird way, I can see the smile on your face reading this now. You either are at Flat Track reading this, or reminiscing on your many past versions of yourself, procrastinating…or actually succeeding in writing this.

[succeeding in *reading this? But yes! You are correct! Currently at FT reminiscing, wading in a pool of gratitude. Wow you know me so well ! :’) ]

Well. I have an hour booked out to heads-down and do this. I hope you enjoy it. I sure do/am/did. ;)

You are one-quarter of a centenarian. Arguably a fourth, or more, through life itself.

I hope you take it in. I hope you find some time alone to breathe, and reflect on your life thus far.

Then you’ll get the texts, taunts from your friends and family. (Please be ready for Selina’s quarter-life-crisis jokes. She has been waiting 5+ years for this…)

(this also reminds me to write/finish her graduation letter…but knowing you…you will just pair it in with her birthday letter….just make sure to make some intentional time and get it done- then I will excuse your “batching”)

[lol]

Anyway!

Back to you being 25.

It is currently January 14th, 2023. Life is kinda hectic, as you are well aware, but I hope it was worth it. It seems like we are going on the right path? The virtuous path? A wandering, winding version of “the Way”?

[nice Tao reference bro]

Idk. You can only connect the dots looking backwards, right? Thanks, Steven O.

[“Steven Occupation” - the reference]

In a way, this is like me projecting my past dot into the future for you to connect and make sense of it. A desperate wish or maybe cry - to help give me a touch of certainty that we are doing ok.

I hope that you are a more confident, caring, and kind Anthony. A more humble, courageous, and wise soul. An Anthony who better understands what is in his control and what's not.

An Anthony that has a zest for life. Finding and feeling fulfillment with your career, creative, health, and life/relationships/learning buckets.

Anthony. If you are not. I plead and encourage you to ask for help. Ask questions. And Listen. Be still if you need to. Take action if you need to.

Please continue to be self-aware. Treat those around you how you would want to be treated. I hope you continue to hone in and stay true to your values.

As a reminder, (tbh I need it too) (these are amendable- but trust your gut) these are your values:

- Freedom - your northstar. That is your “why.” That is your reason for “playing the game.” Why? Because I believe and trust somewhere that if you are given freedom - you will do amazing and creative things. Hell, look at what you do at FlatTrack! You stand for hours, journaling, reading, and writing. You are trying to learn more about yourself and life. I think that if you are given this freedom to explore and dive into things - you will be able to create meaningful, valuable, and impactful work. You can make an impact. (i paused here…because I am weary of “impact” being a why… because that is not under your control). You can make work that you are proud of and it may or MAY NOT - have a positive effect on someone. [wow, I needed to hear this] That, in itself, (beyond the doing whatever, whenever, with whoever for as long as you want thing) is a noble and worthy pursuit.

- Quality - you probably got this from Phaedrus. [reference] An echo of an endless spirit. Whatever you say you are going to do, whatever you commit yourself to:

Do it well. Do it with effort. Do it with Intention.

REMEMBER!

“Perfect is the enemy of Good.” I am NOT asking you to be perfect. I am asking you to try your best. And sometimes your best is…shit. But if you put your effort into it and really try. I know you can do anything. (Just try to please make sure it’s worthy of pursuing or being desired ;) (you know…cuz the whole stoic suffering thing)

[aka - “desires = suffering” both stoic and buddhist philosophy]

[also the whole “at the end of my life, I just want to confidently be able to say ‘I tried,’ continues to resonate with me]

- Relationships - You wouldn’t be the 25-year-old reading this today if it wasn’t for allllllllllll the folks that you crossed paths with or who touched you on your journey of becoming. Every interaction, every good and bad experience. Every experience, really. You are your experiences.

Anyway- something rings true in the soul when you say “relationships are the economy of life.” That’s at the deep level. On the surface- you’ve seen time and time again that Social Capital far outperforms Capital capital. You can make a ton of money in a day. Your relationships are built up and last over a lifetime. [Amen. I will never be able to express my gratitude enough.]

Please remember to put effort and intention here. I know it’s hard and you have been struggling with it a lot this past year and this year already. It takes so much effort and emotional energy. But I think there is something there. I think it is “worth it.” Again, a worthy pursuit/endeavor.

Please do a better job of finding a balance / saying no / boundaries / whatever, SO THAT you can be more full yourself and fill others up with your excess. ("abundance" is probs the better word here?)

- Learning - “once you stop learning, you die (or start dying)” something like that. Learning is one of the most fun and rewarding things. I am so happy you got into reading your senior year of college and I am proud of you for making time and space to prioritize this reading/writing/reflection in your 20s. I think this will pay dividends.

I hope you have figured out the “most optimal way to learn” and that you have a handful of things or skills you’d like to prioritize and go deep on. One thing at a time. Focus. [still working on this haha]

“Skill maintenance is easier than skill acquisition.”

But remember to have fun. you learn better that way anyway. (aka that IS the secret "optimal path" - I think...please correct me if not).

And uhh. As of the day you are reading this…you only got two years left of developing brain bud!!!!!!

[HAH - past Anthony def did NOT have a developed brain when writing this…

Smh my head]

- Health - Your body is a TEMPLE. Jk jk. But really. Your mind and body are so connected. If you are stressed, anxious, feel like shit - the first screen you gotta ask is if you worked out yet. (I think a major key is a workout and sauna then a cold shower…it is kinda a real hack haha)

Anyway.

“Take care of your body.” (thanks Mom). You will be so thankful for that later. From everything that you/I’ve read/listened/watched thus far, it's that this whole aging thing doesn’t get easier! I know you want to ideally live to 100 (cuz it’s a cool number) and be running marathons or climbing or lifting silly weights well "past your prime" - but you CAN NOT. I repeat, CAN NOT!!! Achieve or get to this point if you don’t take care of your body NOW.

I am preaching to the choir. Just make sure to always keep this top of mind dude. Have fun, get those free endorphins and I will now stop writing.

(And if you are reading this and you are being a sloth, lard, garbage-man rn…I will beat ur ass) (oof - self kindness self kindness!) (you get it. Well of course you do…he’s me) (that was motivating.) (don’t skip ur workouts).

[for better or worse, this is still the self-talk/voice in my head hahaha]

- Authenticity - ahhh yes, last but not least! I know you have been working on figuring out and learning more about yourself…for a long time. But make sure to apply this knowledge in the field. Implement it IRL!

Please don’t make me spending an hour+ writing this be a total waste of time. Implement it and live your best life. Be yourself. Be true. Literally, if you just do that, NO ONE can compete with you SO THAT!!! YOU DON’T HAVE TO COMPETE!!! (you can just exist and be happy/content with existing as yourself!!!)

"The wise do not compete." They love and run and give off energy from being in touch with themselves. (well I think so…please check me here if this is total b.s. too)(joke)(but also kinda not?) [bars!! I don’t have conclusive evidence/data yet, but I still think/hope this is true.]

Anyway- this is just to say be honest man. Live life with a light conscious. Be as present as possible. Enjoy the moments before they become memories. I think I struggled with that this past year. I hope you learn from me and improve in 2024.

Also man. Don’t be afraid. I think being vulnerable is kinda a superpower. If you are honest with yourself and with others then…1) you will attract/make genuine connections 2) you can’t get hurt too bad…if they don’t like you for being you…

“effff ‘em”

Alrighty-rooski!

I hope you enjoyed that little value-review/recap. I hope these all resonate with you soundly; reverberations deep inside the soul.

Last thing.

I think you will already “know this.” but just a friendly reminder to be grateful for the life you live. Life isn’t perfect, it never will be. But you’ve been so blessed by God, the Universe, whatever - we have somehow made it this far, haven’t we? And so far, I’d say we are a pretty alright human being!!

[currently *overwhelmed* with gratitude]

It feels weird to say but I love you. Take care of yourself, stay true to your values, love others, be kind - and the rest will take care of itself.

Much Love,

J. Anthony Seliskar (of 2023)

[Thank you past Anthony. What a frikin year. I look forward to writing and reading your letter to our 26-year-old self next year.

Until then. Keep on doin’ you.

Much Love,

25 y/o Anthony]